In my lectures I warn my male attendees of the dangers of egalitarian thinking. Per Nietzsche’s “The Genealogy of Morals,” what he calls “Slave Morals,” inherently predispose the individual to feelings of resentment.
The failings of egalitarianism, at least in the economic and political spheres, are already hotly debated and well-known. What isn’t often talked discussed, is the influence of egalitarian value-systems and their impact in the world of sex and dating.
I’ll give you a personal example:
At one point in my life I was bemoaning the difficulties that come with being a single male and coping with the struggle we often call “trying to get laid.” We all know the way it is: you need to run around and collect phone numbers (or in this day and age, Instagram accounts), risk rejection over and over again, then deal with flakes, bitches or girls who are wholly unqualified for one reason or another.
As most single men know, the whole ordeal is a bit of a chore. The only potential light at the end of the tunnel is in the form of a bedmate, or future girlfriend/wife, and our testosterone-dripped primordial drives somehow manage to motivate us to keep on trying.
In one such dry-spell, I found myself in a fit of complaining. “Women get sex whenever they damn-well please. They don’t know how it is for men, you have to go out and market yourself all the time and face all that humiliation and frustration…”
I’m ashamed to admit it, but this was textbook victimology – we all fall prey to it sometimes, and to that I am no exception. Did you notice how my statement is chock-full of egalitarian presuppositions and value structures? The first is a direct comparison that I made between the sexual lives of women and men. Men and women are nothing alike in this area, simply because it IS our sex organs that differentiate such things as MEN and WOMEN to begin with (traditional pronouns strike again!). So this is like comparing apples with oranges.
“Boo-hoo women have it so much easier than we do,” is a nonsensical attitude to take. The egalitarian value system asserts that things SHOULD be the SAME for BOTH GENDERS, which of course, they ARE NOT and SHOULD NOT BE! Inherent in my bout of self-pity, was a desire to somehow have an “easy time of it like women do.” This is sheer nonsense, as it belies the important differences between men and women that make the whole damn “dating game” worthwhile in the first place.
Of course women do it all the time too. “You men don’t know how hard it is to be a woman. We have to deal with getting periods once a month, and we get pregnant and carry a baby around, it’s hell to give birth to a child. And we have all these men hitting on us all the time, it sucks!”
So who’s right in this never-ending debate on who has life the hardest? Neither, because the victimology-debate is ultimately useless and only serves to breed hatred and resentment.
Back to Nietzsche’s discovery, that victimology is borne of resentment: victimology is the ultimate in slave-morality systems, in which the world is seen as a parade of have’s and have-not’s, and the have’s are constantly keeping down the have-nots such that A) nothing is a matter of personal fault or responsibility and that B) the have’s deserve to be looted and torn-down in order to make things “more equal,” hence the resentment of them.
Egalitarians are resentful because they resent those with more wealth and power than they do, and see life as a zero-sum game: in order for someone to win, some else has to lose. The rich need to be made middle-class so that the poor can be made middle-class, and so on (which of course is a violation of property rights, and never works pragmatically). This is also true in sexual matters.
How so? MYTHOLOGY TO THE RESCUE (again)!
Mythology is a means by which life is elevated from the mundane to the level of a divine story. In Myth, the forces of nature or deified. The human experience is elevated to that of a heroic tale. Nothing is base or random, the texture of life is imbued with meaning.
Thus, the differences in the sexes, and our subsequent differences in experiences in the mating game are not base, mere inconveniences, or (solely) physical contrivances based on our evolutionary histories. Our differences are DEFINITELY NOT borne out of the “grave injustices brought on be inequality and the evil rule of the patriarchy,” without which men and women would be more-or-less “the same.” Sheer nonsense.
So, my epiphany: for us men, the trials and difficulties in dating, the quest for pussy and the mysterious hormone-laden drive to take part in this whole adventure, is not an egalitarian mistake, nor is it merely a biological inconvenience. Rather, it is deified, sacred, and mythological.
To put it more bluntly, it’s supposed to be this way.
That realization was the cure to my feelings of upset, and with that realization I was no longer cynical about the whole thing – nor was I depressed or resentful of women. As men, our engagement in the Male Mono-myth is our responsibility. It’s the “Game,” as pick-up artists call it.
To men, the quest for sex is a Divine Game, a mythological Quest. For women, not so much.
Viva La Difference!
The Male Mono-myth in a simplified nutshell: Man is called to adventure, which necessitates that he sever his bonds with “home” (may that be his parents, household, hometown, whatever his holding him back from his personal growth). Man partakes of adventures which involve 1) the development of his competency and skills, with which he is to 2) slay monsters and then 3) rescue a princess from peril, typically a dragon or primordial mega-monster of some sort. From there he can “return home,” which involves him becoming the head of his own household, rescuing the land and everyone else in it, etc.
The Male Mono-myth has within it, as the hero’s primary goal, the claiming of the “prime royal virgin pussy.” As I said about mythology, this entire process is seen as heroic and deified, and should in no way be interpreted as somehow “silly” or “base.” The continuation of the human race depends on males surviving, proving our competency, and overcoming trials and dangers in order to secure quality mates.
Mythological structures are so inherent to our way of thinking that they influence our thoughts and actions by no rational decision-making processes at all. Mythologies are “paradigmatical,” they structures how we think before we even decide to think about something.
If you grew up in the 1980s as I did, then you know what it was like to have a video game console at home that was more dependable and emotionally reliable than your biological father. As I jokingly like to say, those of us in the X and Y Generations all had the same father, and his name was “N.E.S.”
Video games are interactive mythological adventures. “Super Mario Brothers,” is perhaps the most iconic video game of all time. It also involves a male hero protagonist, who ingests talismanic “power-ups” of various kinds, only to then descend into the Underworld where he faces none less than a fire-breathing dragon. Why do this? For the promise of securing a fair maiden in distress, whose name is “Princess Peach” (of all things).
So the mythological subtext of the game, that which is unsuitable for children, is a deification to the level of “adventurous game,” a mundane italian plumber is elevated (by means of his personal call to adventure), to the status of a hero and rescuer of a fair princess.
As is consistent with the mono-myth, the life of a woman without the companionship of a strong male partner is seen as perilous, because (let’s be honest) it really is. The security and successes that women enjoy today are due to, largely in part, the heroism, conquests and victories made by many generations of male-leaders. The metropolitan woman can then pull an about-face, blame men and “the patriarchy” for every imaginary ill, and parade about with her air of aloof superiority.
The Postmodern World is starving for mythological value-structures, hence the explosive popularity of superhero film franchises and yearly sell-out level attendance to Comic-con’s of every sort. Men today have trouble figuring out what their place in the world is and if there is any true meaning to their lives at all.
The antidote to the existential problem of “meaninglessness,” is to start with what we can apply broadly, and then narrow it down to the individual’s needs from there: start with the male mono-myth. When I speak to a man and he is troubled by the all-too common ills of today: nihilistic decay, alienation, or indecision, I ask him the same things:
- What would, to you personally, represent the ultimate fulfillment of your creative desires and achievement of your personal goals?
- How might you come to be fulfilled sexually with women, to the point at which you are happy – be that be with one partner or many?
These two questions serve as direct, pragmatic applications of the male mono-myth.
The first question relates to goal-setting, which asks the man plainly, “what wars are you willing to fight to get what you want? What dragons or demons are you willing to slay?” Perhaps they are dragons-internal, meaning personal issues relating to his character, lack of action, or emotional issues he is willing to resolve. The dragons might also be external desires: the pursuit of a new job or career, for example.
This means that for us men to get what we want, we have to apply discipline and work to achieve them. Men become resentful and depressed when they adopt female value-structures, such as “I should just get things,” or “I am entitled,” or “I am special, I shouldn’t have to work.”
The second question relates to the outcome of the first: sex with women is the reward for male-competency and the development of skills, which women interpret to being on the top of male “dominance hierarchies,” to borrow a phrase from the great Jordan Peterson.
These two questions relate to the twofold nature of our male nature: kill it or fuck it. We represent strength and capacity for war, and we also seek out women for reproduction. These are the two expressions of a singular force, called “Phallos.” The male symbols is that of Mars’ spear and shield. The spear of Mars represents both the phallus and a physical weapon. As President #45 likes to say “Peace through strength,” our capacity to kill becomes a protective force of country and family, hence the depiction of the sacred image of Mars with a shield as well as a spear. To men, sex and the quest to kill our enemies are one in the same expression of the Phallic Energy. We slay dragons, or “kill it,” as we often say regarding skill-oriented tasks, as an expression of our male hunter-killer energy. We do this so as to ensure the survival and safety of our civilization and therefore our personal homesteads.
So let’s sum it all up: for us men, life is a mythological quest. Take note of how we judge men who refuse the call to adventure: men who refuse to work, men who live in their parents’ basement until they’re 35 or older, men who can’t get dates, 40-year-old virgins, or #MGTOW men who swear off women altogether. All of these things share the common theme of refusing to participate in the Male Mono-mythic adventure, that is: leaving the safety of the known, making one’s way in the world, conquering obstacles (slaying dragons), and adventuring after the best women possible.
A male uses phallos; he is not a man if he cannot do so. Men need to know their source of authority and to represent their sacred symbol. Phallos opens the door to masculine depth.
– Eugine Monick, “Phallos: Sacred Image of the Masculine”
This is what bothers me so much about the #MGTOW movement. The proponents of #MGTOW claim that men should just “forget about women and focus on making themselves happy.” But I ask you, can a man truly be happy without relations with women? Sure we can reinvest in ourselves and find happiness when between relationships, but can a man really be happy without female companionship in the long-term?
The short answer: NO.
So in closing, the next time you are bemoaning the fact that securing sex and quality relationships with women is often difficult, just know that it is supposed to be that way, and that you are meant to participate in this Divine Quest. The Quest is nothing like it is for women – if women could even call it a “Quest” at all. We men know that there is a certain thrill of victory, in “getting lucky” or having everything work out for us. Just know that this is also a part of the Male Mono-mythic structure. Victory comes as the result of preparations, slaying one’s Dragons – within and without, in order to secure the best chances at reproduction.
Victims not allowed!