Unloved Men: Fixing the Problem

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Men are committing suicide at a rate that is 5-6 times higher than women. To be expected, the newsmagazines and pop-culture gurus believe they have the politically correct, feminine-primary solution. “Men don’t share their feelings and are too macho. It’s the imposition of traditional ‘toxic masculinity’ that is to blame.” Of course, the truth is the complete opposite; it is precisely because our feminine-primary culture is so hostile to men and dismissive of the unique needs of men that men feel chronically unappreciated, disempowered, and unloved.

Men are human beings, and all human beings need love. Therefore, men need love. However, this should not imply that we require the “touchy-feely” kind of love that is often referenced in New Age or feminist schools of thought.

The ancient Greeks defined seven types of love:

  1. Eros – Sexual, romantic, erotic love.
  2. Ludus – Playful, relationship-based love, such as taking a girlfriend on a fun date.
  3. Pragma – Committed, long-term relationship love for a romantic partner.
  4. Philia – Close-friendship love.
  5. Storge – Familial love.
  6. Philautia – Self-love.
  7. Agape – Universal, spiritual for existence and your fellow man.

Notice that modern women have been conditioned to only value Philautia, Philia and Eros; that is: Self-love, Friendships and Sexual-erotic experience; to the exclusion of all other kinds of love. The outrageous narcissism and hubris of modern women only proves the grave imbalance in their personal lives. Human beings need all seven types of love.

Men need all seven types of love. To solve the chronic love deficit that is afflicting the male world, we must pursue, cultivate, and maintain all seven types of love. I have more respect for a man who maintains a relationship with a fat woman (because that’s all he can get), than a permanent MGTOW or TFL’er (True Forced Loneliness man). MGTOW gurus like Turd Flinging Monkey advocate that men disavow themselves of women completely and opt for “relationships” with sex dolls. There is no such thing as a “relationship” with a sex doll, so this in of itself is a perversion of the word and a concession to postmodern mental illness. Both toxic feminism and MGTOW are flip-sides of the same coin, that coin being social degeneracy and socio-spiritual sickness.

You don’t fight the sickness that is modern women and the postmodern world by becoming a sick, isolated schizoid yourself!

A sex doll or “true forced loneliness” is not a solution to anything. It is only a recipe for isolation, mental-emotional illness, and personal degeneracy. According to my personal experience and the experiences of the men that I’ve coached, all men need all seven types of Greek love. Of which, only a relationship with a partner can provide you with the first three: Eros, Ludus and Pragma. On the subject of Eros (erotic love), I disagree completely with other “red pill” authors that it serves your best interest to disavow yourself of long-term relationships and “spin plates” or “fuck a lot of girls” as a long-term lifestyle choice. Firstly, gaming and constantly sourcing new pussy is downright exhausting and dissatisfying, especially once you reach the age of 35 and later. Secondly, the best sex is with a girl who is into you and reserves that for only you. If she is sharing her open sexuality with other men (or women) on a regular basis, then there is nothing special about your sexual access to her. When my girlfriend comes over and she fucks my brains out, I know that she’s not sharing that sexual access with anybody else while I’m in a relationship with her. Provided you’re in a good relationship (and not a sexually dead one), relationship-sex is the best sex.

Ludus is defined as “playful love.” When you take your girlfriend or wife on a hike, or go paddle boarding, or have a nice day at the beach, you’re cultivating Ludus. A sex doll can’t give you Ludus, and neither can your guy-friends. This is why the Greek definitions of love are so ingenious, they have separate words and definitions for the types of love that people need.

Pragma comes after being in a committed relationship for many years. Pragma develops only after you have come to rely on the same woman, and you know and trust each other on a deep and intimate level. Pragma doesn’t cut and run. If you or she have a health crisis, neither of you leave because it isn’t “fun” for “convenient” anymore. There is no way to cultivate Pragma outside of a loving, long-term relationship.

Eros, Ludus and Pragma work together to define a quality relationship. Men become despondent, depressed, or suicidal in the absence of this “holy trifecta” of feminine inputs.

If your sex-life with your woman is garbage, then Ludus and Pragma will suffer as a direct consequence. Think of these three love-states as sides of an equilateral triangle. If one side becomes shorter, then the other two sides must also become shorter, and you have a smaller triangle as a result. Couples who claim to have a positive long-term relationship (Pragma) in the absence of relational fun (Ludus) and hot sex (Eros) are fooling themselves.

Philia relates to close intimate friendships. If you don’t have any friends, you need to treat this deficit as a personal emergency and address its resolution with the same urgency as you do the lack of a job. Storge relates to obligatory love that you feel toward your family. Maintaining Storge may or may not be a possibility depending on the state of your family and how uplifting or toxic they are. Most of us can find at least one or two family members that we get along with well. If that is the case with you, it is in your best interest to become closer with those people. Storge is a special kind of love just like all the other kinds, thus its benefit to your life cannot be supplanted by any of the other types of love.

Philautia, or self-love is a crucial skill to cultivate. This is why I have developed an entire section of this book to developing your attitude and ego with affirmations, etc. Postmodern women are narcissistic and flaunt undeserved self-love to bizarre and toxic levels. Meanwhile, the cult of blank-slate equality demands that men tone it down, and become less toxically masculine, again to imply that you are somehow “toxic” by default. To combat this, you must cultivate self-love. After all, it’s what all the women are doing, and society tells us to be “more like them!”

Agape is a universal, spiritual love. Prayer and connection with God is the best way to avoid getting down in the dumps. God inspires you to press on and do the hard work necessary to fix your life and cultivate the other six types of love. A word of warning: Agape without personal action is fleeting and powerless. New Age schools of thought teach their followers to cultivate universal love to the absence of everything else. Trust me, if you cultivate Agape in the absence of action, you’ll be a warm and fuzzy New-ager with nothing else to show for it. God helps those that helps themselves. God is the source of your power and personal action. God is here to give you the personal power that is in alignment with Him. He is not here to do the work for you.